"You [have done something], which [caused positive effect]. I appreciate [this quality you are currently displaying]."
Validate:
"Recognize that this is how they feel, that this is their reality, and how hard that must be. “Yeah, I can see that you feel that way. That has to be difficult to deal with.” See how easy that is? Now remembering to do that instead of the knee jerk “NO, I REJECT YOUR REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN” is the hard part."
Encouragement:
""Do you want encouragement right now, or just some venting space?” I’ve asked this question countless times and have always gotten a truthful answer. When I tailored my response to what the other person requested, they got what they needed. By asking, you’re letting them know that you’re there to support them and not just give empty lip-service. You’re giving them an opportunity to examine their own feelings and influence their own self-image."
""Do you want encouragement right now, or just some venting space?” I’ve asked this question countless times and have always gotten a truthful answer. When I tailored my response to what the other person requested, they got what they needed. By asking, you’re letting them know that you’re there to support them and not just give empty lip-service. You’re giving them an opportunity to examine their own feelings and influence their own self-image."
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